Uh Oh. She's on her Soap Box......

We have one car. One family car. It’s five years old, purchased before I “gave up” (hahahahaha) working. We have no plans to upgrade.

We take one (modest) family holiday most years, funds permitting. One week’s duration. Usually camping or to a little old unit or cabin somewhere near a beach.

I don’t colour my hair. I get it cut twice a year. I cut my children’s hair myself. I don’t have manicures or facials. I rarely wear makeup.

I buy clothes (and furniture and other household items) at garage sales. Occasionally we splurge on new clothes- for example, last week my local Kmart had children’s pyjamas marked down to $3. All four kids got new pyjamas. 

We only make big purchases on sale- it usually involves having saved for a period, or buying on interest free and paying it off.

We have a simple, healthy diet. We have special meals for birthdays, and don’t buy expensive processed convenience food. We don’t go out to dinner unless it’s at someone’s house or someone else is paying!

We don’t live in a palace... In fact, we believe it is OK for kids to share a room.

I feel no compulsion to keep up with the Jones’. My children have everything they need and so do we. Everything else is just “stuff”.

We LOVE hand-me-downs. We LOVE op shops.

On the weekend, we go for a picnic, to visit friends, or for a bushwalk. We don’t go to the coast, to a cafe or to a theme park.

We are generous. What we don’t need, we give away... to friends, or to charity. I used to sell things on ebay, but I get much more pleasure from gifting something on to someone who could use it. Paying it forward because what you put out there, you get back.

We re-use and recycle.

We don’t go crazy on Christmas presents.

We have a budget. Most of the time we stick to it.

I don’t understand why people feel the need to judge us for choosing for me to stay at home with our children (for the record, I was back at work when our first child was 6 weeks old, when our second was four months, and after the third we decided I would stay home and enjoy these precious few years  instead of working to pay childcare fees). Comments like, “Oh I wish I could stay home like you”, “It’d be great if we could AFFORD for me to stay at home”, “you’re lucky; I HAVE to work”, “well, it’s OK for you, you have the TIME to cook/ clean/ visit friends/ {insert speaker’s current first world complaint here}”.

I find it really offensive when others negate all the planning we do and sacrifices we make to have the life we want to have, just because they can’t imagine themselves doing the same.

Enough is enough. On two counts.... I have had enough, and I will no longer be bothered by the words or thoughts of other people. I will not let their dissatisfaction with their lives reduce the joy I have in my own. To be honest, I don’t care enough and I don’t want people like that in my life any more.

Secondly, enough is enough. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. People spend their lives chasing MORE, wanting MORE. They’ll be happy when.......

If you are reading this, you have access to the internet, which makes you luckier than many. If you are at home or at work, and you have enough food, enough money in the bank to pay your bills, and enough clothes to wear to get by, you are better off than most of the world’s population. Stop chasing perfection. Enjoy what you have. You have enough.

If you REALLY want to know my secret, I will tell you...... I know that money doesn’t buy happiness. I know I will blink and my children will be grown. I know that memories are made, not bought. I know that our house is full of love. I know I have more than enough. I know I am blessed.

Ahhhhhh. Rant done. My next post will be super positive and happy and smiley.

Just Juice

On Saturday night, a friend asked if I'd like to do a juice fast with her. I had set Monday as the day to get serious about ditching a little extra "baggage" (can't really call it baby weight now that he's 13 months old!), so willingly agreed. Just want those jeans to do up!!

I went to the markets on Sunday and stocked up on lots of fresh fruit as veg (as I always do, but this time got lots of leafy greens for my juices as well). Then set about changing from this:

                                         (yeah, I can't understand why the weight won't shift either!)



to this:

                         (The picture is a little fuzzy, but it doesn't really matter- it didn't look any better in real life.)

So in this juice we have kale, silverbeet, beetroot, apple, orange, pink grapefruit and ginger.

Juice fasts are supposed to cleanse your body and soul and help bring you to realisations about food and diet. One drink in, I had made the following realisations:

1. I hate kale
2. I like chewing
3. Beetroot needs to be peeled, the skin is really bitter.

For lunch I had a banana and mixed berry smoothie (couldn't face adding a vegetable and ruining those beautiful beautiful berries). It was lovely, although more like a sorbet- I had to eat it with a spoon.

At this point I was questioning my involvement in this little plan for health.... each day gets colder than the last and juice and smoothies aren't quite at the top of my wish list like they are in Summer. Maybe I could do a soup version?

For dinner, I did cheat a little and have a leafy salad- which is basically what I would have had, but not pureed.... The rest of the family had lasagne and salad, and I am really conscious about food and body image with my kids... I want them to see me fuelling my body with good healthy food, like they do, not obsessing (but that's a whole other post!).

That's when I had my first real food revelation.......

Surely a healthy balanced diet (without all the little treats and indulgences), in combination with regular exercise is what I should be doing?!

I must say, part way through day two, I do feel better for not eating wheat- which is what I usually find. I have an awful headache though, despite all the water I have been drinking (have been peeing like I'm 9 months pregnant!).

I'm starting to doubt the sense of this with four young children to keep up with. I think my body needs more than juice. It needs chicken. Or beef. Or egg. Heck, right now I'd take a plate of mushrooms.

So this is my plan: DITCH THE BEIGE. Stop eating beige things; no white bread, pasta, white rice, biscuits etc. I'd like to completely eliminate processed food from all our diets, over time.... not sure how the kids (or husband!) will go but I'll try baby steps.

I don't think quick fixes are for me. They aren't sustainable, they lack variety and they are not the type of example I want to set for my children. Part of me feels like I am quitting/failing, but the better part of me knows for long term total health, juice alone is not for me.

The rest of my plan is MOVE MORE. I used to walk every morning and do a regular fitness class, and my body misses that. Despite the cold, I need to get out from under the doona and exercise in the mornings- it will be invigorating!!!

I'm going to harness the power of positive thinking and make this happen, in a way that works for me and my family.... I'm going to do it MY WAY.

Who's with me?
What works for you?


Sal

Blogging Take II

Well, I guess I can add "blogging" to the list of things I have started and not followed through on.... like sewing, scrapbooking, quilting, jewellery making, being a fitness fanatic.... hmmm... I suppose I use up all my commitment on my family and friends, and there just isn't enough left over for "stuff".

The landscape has changed a little since my last post.... almost two years ago (!). We now have four kids, with a beautiful little boy, now one, added to the mix. We've also recently moved back to my husband's home town, where we will be sure to take advantage of the relatives (read: babysitters) nearby.

I have given up paid work, in favour of the much more demanding, but also much more rewarding, world of unpaid work. Before any of you jump the gun, and assume I have become a housewife, I'd like to share a little poem with you. Because I am absolutely crap with most forms of technology, and cannot figure out how to format it in here, the poem appears at the end of my post :-)

Added to my list of things to do: learn about computers and how blogger actually works properly, including fonts, formatting, signatures etc. Until then, bear with me.....

So, I am going to give this blogging thing another go. I am not going to commit to blog every day, or to provide awesome tips and tricks to keep your home organised, I don't have natural alternatives to commercial cleaning products and sometimes my recipes are an abolute disaster and we have eggs for tea. What I will promise, however, is to post somewhat regularly, when I think I have something of note to say, or have heard/seen something really funny/ interesting/disturbing that I feel I simply must share. Who knows, if I give it a chance, blogging may turn out to be my thing.... or one of my things. Maybe not, but we'll see.

Excuse This House

Author unknown

Some houses try to hide the fact

That children shelter there

Ours boasts of it quite openly

The signs are everywhere

For smears are on the windows

Little smudges on the doors

I should apologise I guess

For the toys strewn on the floor

But, I sat down with the children

And we played and laughed and read

And if the doorbell doesn’t shine

Their eyes will instead

For when at times I am forced to choose

The one job or the other

I want to be a housewife

But first I’ll be a mother.

Have a great weekend,

Sally

Mum..... by definition

I have really been struggling lately. Not "Struggling" struggling, more like grappling, or questioning myself.... and it's all about one little sentence.

You see, I was talking to a friend recently, and she made the comment, "I love my kids, of course, but they don't define who I am"....... and that thought has been playing over in my mind for the last few weeks.

I fancy myself fairly well-balanced... I stay at home with my kids, I run my small business from home, I have a fairly active social life (the kind of social life you expect after kids..... very little alcohol, lots of talking, coffee, barbeques etc), I'm well educated, I can hold an adult conversation whilst a Wiggles song plays in my head...... I'm fairly well rounded, I think.

But this comment has really struck me off guard, and I've figured out why... I was worried that my kids DO define who I am, and in the "I can have my cake and eat it too" world we live in, I thought maybe I'd somehow missed the boat. Should my kids define who I am? I am a whole person without them. I have value as an individual. I'm still me.... right? Should I want more, should I do more, should I BE more?

And then I thought about it.... and you know what? My kids DO define who I am. They define who I am at the very core of my being, and I think that is absolutely wonderful. Yes, I am a whole person without them, but I never want to BE without them...

Don't get me wrong.. sometimes I really want to be without them, I need a break, I'm human, I need a time out, but we're talking half an hour, or a day with a friend, a nice dinner with the girls.

But I never ever want to BE without them. They complete me, if that makes sense..... in the way my husband also completes me. They are part of who I am... so of course they define me. In the same way my beliefs and dreams and hopes and fears define me. Being a wife and mother are the two most important roles in my life.

Do I wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't married and had kids in my twenties? Sometimes...... and it's unimaginable. A wife and mother is who I am . It's who I AM. Nothing I have ever done, or will ever do, will be as important as being a Mum. It is the most exhausting, arduous, frustrating, nerve-wracking, emotional, rewarding, uplifting, exhilerating, fulfilling job in the world.

I consider myself extremely lucky to be blessed with three gorgeous healthy children. Many who would make wonderful parents are not gifted with them easily. I appreciate that. I am thankful for that. Many mothers have to return to work and do not have this precious time at home. Many mothers choose to return to work, and I understand and respect that choice. We live very simply so that I can stay home. That's the choice we made. Sometimes we go without. Sometimes there is not enough. But we get by. I am thankful for that. I watch my children playing, or eating, or sleeping, and I feel such pride and contentment I could burst. I am so thankful for that.

These little people and their Daddy are my family..... they are my everything. Without them, I am a whole person, but I would certainly not be whole. So do my children define me? Absolutely they do. And all is as it should be.

The Jeopardy of Jogging

Getting fit is a dangerous pursuit. Take jogging for example. For me, it's right up there with other extreme sports like rugby... and hockey... games where you risk serious injury every time you take the field. Jogging is dangerous like that.



To counter my comfort food habit, I am trying to form a new habit... so they'll cancel each other out. I have started walking ... four days ago- so in terms of the whole "it takes 21 days to form a habit" thing, this one is in its infancy. But I don't let that stop me from aiming high.



A friend and I both mentioned recently how we'd love to run a marathon (well, 10km mini-marathon, but close enough). My friend, you could conceive- she jogs already- but me, not so much.



For a few years now the 10km run has been on my list of things to do (that ridiculous list of 40 things to do before I'm 40; I kept it quite achievable- run a half marathon, pay off my mortgage, travel Europe, make the perfect black forest cake.... pffft).



So, jogging. Yesterday morning I was walking alone (so far not my favourite pre-dawn activity), giving my shoes a workout,







and I thought 'you know what, I'm going to give this jogging thing a go'. At this point it is worth noting that I have tried jogging before but, like childbirth, it seems to be one of those physically gruelling experiences that my brain periodically deletes from my memory.



It's not settling into a breathing pattern that I struggle with.... Although breathing is tricky after the first about 200 metres.



It's my butt that gets me. My boobs used to too, but I got a special sports bra for that. They don't make butt-bras though, do they? So every time I jog, the impact makes my butt muscle (or whatever fibre connects my butt cheeks to my body) feel like it is going to rip right through.




I have tried jogging more softly, forcefully, slowly, quickly, longer strides, shorter strides... the pain is still there. Not niggling pain either. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH-what-is-wrong-with-my-body type pain. In that moment after I land, and gravity drags my butt cheeks down with such force while the rest of my body has already started to rise...oooommmmppphhhh.... I can't very well run along supporting my butt cheeks in my hands now can I?



So I did what anyone would do... I googled. And look what ezinearticles.com said:


You may see a person running in the early morning hours around your home and think, "I wish I could do that". However, in reality jogging is a high impact type of exercise which can exacerbate previous health conditions, like deteriorating knee and joints. However, it is important to stay in shape [STAY in shape???... bit late for that]. A great alternative to running and jogging is walking.



Well, if a respected publication like that says jogging is a health risk, who am I to argue?? So I guess I have to walk.... at least until my butt is a bit less marshmallow-y and some of the hail damage smooths out.

Dear Mr Stain Remover (although I question your right to use the word 'remove' in any of its forms),

I have serious issues with your product that you must address immediately.

I have been the perfect little consumer.


I saw your ad.... I watched with sympathy as that silly woman freaked out when she discovered the stain on her husband's shirt.

[Although at this point I really must differentiate myself from her by saying, I iron with my eyes open... so I discover stains when I'm ironing- sometimes before I iron them and set the stain permanently in the fabric, sometimes AFTER- but definitely before my husband has dressed in it and is posing for a family photo]

So, despite her stupidity, I felt for her. I thought, "I need that spray to prevent that happening to me" (although, as we have noted, it wouldn't happen to me quite like that... less interesting television, but far less silly). So, you hooked me. I bought the spray. I used it.

I am most seriously DISpleased with the results. This is my laundry AFTER I did my washing..... 4 items needing to be resprayed.




Now, just to clarify, this second spraying was done with much gusto, and I estimate I used about half the can between the 4 items......... still stained. Vanish? Pffft.


I really must insist you improve this formula, or stop making claims of actually being able to remove MOST stains, and stick to the nasty little stains you can manage... like water.

If this issue is not addressed, I will turn into one of those neurotic mums who doesn't let her kids get dirty. I can't stand those mums.


Thanking you in anticipation of the big bucks you will spend on product improvement as the result of this little note, and thanks also in advance for the free lifetime supply of this improved product that you will give ME as thanks for my help with your product.


Most sincerely,


Dirty Laundress.

Snuggly Slippers... and a muffin-top.

Know why I love Winter? Comfort food. I think I've put on three kilos this Winter already (yes, it is only the seventh day of June). Seriously, you can't beat hearty slow-cooked meals, hot chocolate with melted marshmallows, oozy cheese on toast, hot coffee (several a day, may explain this twitch I have developed). I also love flannelette.... not in a wear-it-to-the-shops kind of way (it belongs in your homes people, not in public), but for pyjamas, and sheets... so snuggly.


And I love being able to wear the slippers my kids got me for Mothers' Day last year...

But as a Mum, do you know the thing about Winter that I love the very best? Tracksuits. They go from the clothesline to the cupboard and wipe out most of my ironing during Winter. If only I didn't look like such a dag in them, I'd wear them every day too. But my tracksuits are kind of exercise-y. I bought them for those brisk early morning walks I planned to take five mornings a week... until I realised just how cold AND DARK it is at 5am every morning of the week. If I wear them during the day, I look like I'm on my way to the gym (because of course I team them with my twelve-month-old-but-look-brand-new Reeboks, bought for those same early morning walks).

Tell me, do you think there is any aerobic benefit to be derived from wearing exercise clothes all day if I don't ACTUALLY do any exercise??? Hmmmm. Should I go to Weight Watchers tonight and kick this comfort food habit, or have a sweet hot chocolate and snuggle on the couch? I'll get back to you...