Dear Mr Stain Remover (although I question your right to use the word 'remove' in any of its forms),

I have serious issues with your product that you must address immediately.

I have been the perfect little consumer.


I saw your ad.... I watched with sympathy as that silly woman freaked out when she discovered the stain on her husband's shirt.

[Although at this point I really must differentiate myself from her by saying, I iron with my eyes open... so I discover stains when I'm ironing- sometimes before I iron them and set the stain permanently in the fabric, sometimes AFTER- but definitely before my husband has dressed in it and is posing for a family photo]

So, despite her stupidity, I felt for her. I thought, "I need that spray to prevent that happening to me" (although, as we have noted, it wouldn't happen to me quite like that... less interesting television, but far less silly). So, you hooked me. I bought the spray. I used it.

I am most seriously DISpleased with the results. This is my laundry AFTER I did my washing..... 4 items needing to be resprayed.




Now, just to clarify, this second spraying was done with much gusto, and I estimate I used about half the can between the 4 items......... still stained. Vanish? Pffft.


I really must insist you improve this formula, or stop making claims of actually being able to remove MOST stains, and stick to the nasty little stains you can manage... like water.

If this issue is not addressed, I will turn into one of those neurotic mums who doesn't let her kids get dirty. I can't stand those mums.


Thanking you in anticipation of the big bucks you will spend on product improvement as the result of this little note, and thanks also in advance for the free lifetime supply of this improved product that you will give ME as thanks for my help with your product.


Most sincerely,


Dirty Laundress.